Failure is not final: A guide to navigate setbacks
DEMOY NASH knows all about rebuilding and starting over for the sake of his sanity. Coming out of a failed relationship, and other setbacks, he finally came to the conclusion that ‘failure is not final’. That realisation was the inspiration for him penning a book.
Brought up in a religious community all his life, Nash started preaching at age 14 and had a rapidly growing ministry, with him preaching several times a week.
“I realise that I would make myself available to all and there was not much reciprocity. While the aim was not for this,” he recalled.
After years of this practice, Nash, who got married during his darkest moments, especially during the struggles of his marriage, said the support was absent.
His marriage, he said, was strongly influenced and motivated by spiritual leaders in whom he placed his confidence. In hindsight, he now sees that he was not guided properly, leading to him being insufficiently prepared going into the marriage.
During his struggles to save his marriage, he said those he trusted for help didn’t have the skill set to handle his problems and provide the kind of intervention he needed - their intervention ultimately led to a worsening situation.
“Besides, I believe I was used and misused by many of these leaders for the gains they could get from the ministry God gifted me with. There was little care for the person. So, as it became apparent that my marriage was failing and there were abounding issues, the neglect and abandonment began,” he shared.
Stating that his failed marriage led to suffering among himself, his spouse and his daughter, he knew it could not continue.
“The support provided during the marriage was also of poor quality to a large extent. However, regardless of the support, it’s my opinion that the marriage would have failed due to the incompatibility of the individuals and the unwillingness to compromise with each other.”
Nash said his failed marriage started going downhill as he dealt with emotional abuse, having to live in an environment that was filled with quarrels, fightings, distrust, conflicts, hurt, pain and little peace.
During those years, he said he felt alone and that his mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health were affected and compromised.
Commenting on his book, Failure Is Not Final, he said although the book is not totally about his failed marriage, it was so impact that it inspired the writing.
After realising he was not liking the person he was becoming, he said he knew it was time to walk away as he came to the conclusion that it was better leaving than staying in a home that was affecting all the parties and especially compromising the health, growth and development of his daughter.
“It would be better to have two healthy parents living apart and have the best of each them, than to have the two of them living together and destroying each other.”
To other couples, while he is not advocating walking away, he said once they are losing themselves, becoming what they are not, then it is time to step.
For those who read his book, Nash said he wants them to use it as a guide to provide clear strategies to journey out of failure.
“I want them to understand that not all failures are even failure but essential nutrients to them achieving their purposes. I want them to know that purpose is not a thing rather, it’s a lifestyle guided by principles that are clearly set out in this book,” he shared.
Nash, who hails from St Ann, is a past student of the College of Agriculture, Science and Education and The University of the West Indies, Mona. His passion is using his life to give God the glory as he fulfils his purpose.
“I am a passionate humanitarian, Christian and agriculturist that is obsessed with success,” he quipped.