Basil Jarrett | Nagging nurturers: The role of women in our survival

LAST WEEK, I wrote about the perils of ignoring prostate health, and, in the days since, I’ve been stopped everywhere, from supermarket aisles to my favourite patty shop, by women, yes, women, who confessed that they were the ones who nagged and dragged their husbands, brothers, fathers, and boyfriends to the doctor. No surprise, as I’ve always felt that the only thing more complex than a woman’s mind is her body, and complex things have a habit of breaking more often, hence their frequently scheduled doctor visits and regular check-ups. Men, in contrast, are like simple flashlights. You insert a battery, flick a switch and Voila, light! If the light doesn’t come on, it simply means that the battery is dead. Replace with a new set and carry on. No need to inspect that flashlight again, until, of course, the next dead battery.

In all seriousness, though, women and the importance they place on physical and mental health have made them an indispensable, if sometimes reluctant, ally in saving men from themselves. Left to our own devices, many of us would rather suffer through 90 minutes of Manchester United football than book a medical appointment. We’ll endure weeks of discomfort, tell ourselves it’s just “a little gas”, and only seek help when we’re practically horizontal.

Unless we are backed into a corner and threatened with the removal of one or more of the basic necessities of life, many of us refuse to play a starring role in the movie of our health and well-being. We may bristle at being “nagged” by our mothers, wives, girlfriends and daughters, sometimes all four at once, but history shows that, without this brand of feminine intervention, many of us would still be wandering around with untreated high blood pressure, unchecked diabetes, and undiagnosed prostate issues. How ironic indeed that women have come to play such a critical role in preventing a disease for a body part which they don’t even have.

LEVERAGING OUR WOMEN’S POWER

But it’s not just biology. It’s also sociology. Women are natural organisers. They make sure the bills are paid, the children are immunised, and the family pet is de-wormed. Little surprise then that they also ensure that the other family pet is kept abreast of his own check-up schedule, with an occasional tug on the leash to get him to comply.

But, there’s also a more subtle dynamic at play here too. Men seek and respond to women’s approval. It’s why we shower, wear clean clothes and brush our teeth.

Women’s voices carry weight in our lives. When she says, “get checked or else …” it resonates and connects in a way that men rarely do with each other.

And, to demonstrate just how powerful she is, consider for a minute that most men are painfully aware of the statistics around prostate cancer being the most common form of cancer in Jamaican men, and being the leading cause of cancer-related death among males. What’s not so known, but shouldn’t surprise anyone, is that, in 2022, of the nearly 1,600 new cancer cases in Jamaican men, about 43.1 per cent were prostate-related and, in the same year, prostate cancer ranked highest both for incidence and mortality among that group. Some older data even suggests that, in Kingston, the age-adjusted incidence rate reaches as high as 304 per 100,000 men, a figure that even astonished many in the global urology community. With these shocking statistics staring us in the face, many of us still choose to sit on our behinds until faced with the wrath of one of the women in our lives.

OUTSOURCING OUR HEALTH

The simple fact is that many of us have outsourced our health and wellness to our women, making them the first line of defence in our fight against prostate cancer. As I see it, we have two choices. We can try to change the mindset of the more obstinate among us, or we can try to encourage more women to stand in their natural power and gladly and willingly play that role of nagging nurturer. Or we can also do both, but something tells me that we’ll probably have more success doing the latter. Men are notoriously stubborn. We sometimes believe that, if we ignore a problem long enough, it will go away. Until it comes roaring back to bite us in the wazoo.

That’s why I’m imploring our ladies not to let up. Keep reminding, keep persuading, keep bribing, keep withholding, as necessary. Book the appointment. Drag them to the test. Whatever you need to do. A gentle nudge, a firm insistence, a calendar reminder, those gestures can tip the scales between life and tragedy. And it’s not just for prostate cancer. From quitting smoking, exercising, eating right and getting enough sleep, men are significantly more likely to adopt healthier lifestyle choices if urged by a woman in their life.

As we close out Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, let us remember that prevention is cheaper than cure, early detection saves lives, and knowledge without action is like Harry Maguire at centre back against Liverpool – absolutely useless.

Major Basil Jarrett is the director of communications at the Major Organised Crime and Anti-Corruption Agency (MOCA) and crisis communications consultant. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram, Threads @IamBasilJarrett and linkedin.com/in/basiljarrett. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com