Michael Abrahams | Contemplating suicide? Please read this

If you are contemplating suicide, you are not alone. The 24/7 Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Helpline set up by the Ministry of Health and Wellness (MOHW), 888-639-5433 (888-NEW-LIFE), received calls from 633 persons during September.

And, throughout history, countless people, including many talented and brilliant individuals, have considered taking their lives. Many tried and were successful in completing the act, but fortunately, many also failed in their attempts and went on to live productive lives and be grateful that they did not transition.

You may not have heard anyone say this to you, but I understand how you feel. I do not believe you are weak, selfish, stupid or crazy. You are experiencing some form of distress, typically mental, emotional, physical, financial, or a combination of these, and are at the end of your tether. You are hurting, and when people are in pain, especially chronic pain, they seek relief. Sometimes when these crises are faced, different methods of relief are tried, but to no avail. You want to ease the pain, and if you are no longer alive, you will not be able to feel pain anymore. Not only that, but the relief will be permanent. I feel you. I get it.

However, I would appreciate your indulgence for a few minutes. No matter how you view a situation and how convinced you are that you are right, there will always be other perspectives. For instance, if you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, and feel you have exhausted your options, it is not that other solutions do not exist. It is just that the intense emotional pain and distress that you are experiencing right now can distort your thinking and blur your vision, so it becomes more challenging to see other solutions.

Do you feel like a failure? Welcome to the club. Many of us have failed at something, or several things. Some of the most successful businesspersons failed in their earlier entrepreneurial endeavours. Many popular musicians were booed offstage and rejected by record labels before hitting it big. Lots of record-breaking athletes have had slumps. If you think you are at rock bottom, guess what, there is a positive side. If you are at the bottom, the only way to go is up. And you can go up.

If you are riddled with guilt about something, forgive yourself. You are human. You will make errors of judgement, mistakes and bad decisions. In fact, mistakes are what help us to grow if we can learn from them. It is much harder to develop resilience and other positive attributes if your life is always a bed of roses. If you are feeling tormented, it is also essential to differentiate between the things you have control over and those you do not. You may not be able to change a situation, but you can change your attitude toward it.

If you are going through a break-up, it is not the end of the world. The saying “there are other fish in the sea” is a worn-out cliché, but it makes sense. With over eight billion people on the planet, you can likely find another partner if you desire. If you lived without the person before, you can live without them after they have gone. Losing a loved one, including lifelong family members like parents, causes deep grief, but over time the pain becomes more manageable, even if it remains. If you are struggling financially, there are avenues available to help you obtain assistance. If you are in chronic pain, explore different drug regimes and speak with your doctor about adopting a holistic approach to managing your condition. If you are struggling with an addiction, there are places you can go that offer rehabilitation.

Importantly, no matter how much of a failure you think you are, and no matter how worthless you feel, there are people who love and need you. If you unalive yourself, their grief and anguish would be immeasurable. There are also experiences you have never had that are waiting out there for you, and things for you to accomplish. If you decide not to end your life you can be a source of strength and inspiration to others. By sharing with them how you overcame and survived, you may give them hope and potentially save their lives.

Most importantly, get help. Tell someone you trust, such as a family member, close friend, counsellor or family doctor about your suicidal thoughts. Try to speak with a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist. Call the MOHW helpline. I checked it out and not only does it work, but the psychologists there are very responsive and will call you back even if you call and hang up. If you have been diagnosed with a mental disorder, have had medications prescribed, and have not been compliant, please try your best to be. Avoid alcohol and other mind-altering substances, as they may plunge you into an even deeper state of mental distress and push you over the edge. Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, sharp instruments, or firearms from your environment. Try to avoid being alone if possible. Avoid triggers that could push you over the edge, such as conversations with certain people, whether in person, via the phone or on social media. Avoiding social media altogether for awhile may be a great idea, as it can be a source of distressing news and may expose you to toxic interactions, including comments directed at you. Exercise, meditation, listening to music you like, watching funny videos and exposure to sunlight can also help boost your mood. However, if the urge to end your life is intense and overwhelming, please visit an emergency room as soon as possible.

Now take a look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve to be on this planet, because you do.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, social commentator, and human-rights advocate. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or follow him on X , formerly Twitter, @mikeyabrahams