Put away your arrow cupid

"A mighty pain to love it is, And it is a pain that pain to miss; But of all pains, the greatest pain. It is to love, but love in vain."

- Abraham Cowley

I promised I would make this Kelly's World light and funny for Valentine's Day. But lions eat vegetable salads.

Let's start with a very uncomfortable and yet quite necessary truth - I've never been in love. Sure, I've liked many a fair maiden (and even a few who weren't so fair). And of course, I would have courted a few others, at least within the good-natured crevices of my mind. And alas, there has been a time (or three) when I convinced myself that I indeed was struck by one of Cupid's projectiles. But upon further review, that simply isn't the case.

Love, in its truest and purest form, has never danced a merry jig across the valves of my heart. Not sure how I should feel about that. You see, so much of what is being paraded these days as love is actually anything but. However, because of social media and just an affinity for things fake, we have this perception of love that really doesn't exist. People keep up this show for the cameras, and if you're not smart enough to realise, you'll be convinced.

But at the same time, I've heard about and seen exhibitions of what I would consider real love. And it does look quite beautiful. But love, while a beautiful thing for those who find it, is but a mirage in a desert for those who don't. And it's for those people you should shed the heaviest of tears. Get out the buckets then, for there is a great number of loveless people walking around - kinda like Cupid-forsaken zombies.

Here's what confuses me. Some say you have to go and look for it. And yet others say it's when you're not looking that it falls in your hands. Well, apparently, I'm a really bad catcher. Or maybe I wasn't meant to. The love train is one locomotive I don't think I'll be boarding any time soon. I'm not saying true love doesn't exist, I'm just saying it won't come to everyone. The few times I thought it had, the kung fu master called 'Reality' kicked me in the face. A miracle I still have teeth.

But what do I know? Maybe I just need a vacation. Maybe I need better cable channels with better programming to occupy my mind. Or maybe I'm just an old man who deep down knows his time is almost up. But as long as a pulse registers and the monitor hasn't shown a flatline, there is (theoretically) hope. Although hope can be a dangerous thing.

I suppose only time will tell. I'm not telling anyone to give up on love (like I pretty much have) - nobody listens to me anyway. What I will do is echo the words of J.M. Barrie who opined, "Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy; (for) even love unreturned has its rainbow." Later.

• Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com