Promote good over evil everywhere ... every time

IS THIS sound advice? If your relationship is problematic, rather than further complicating matters by lingering, simply dump the partner and engage someone new. Aren’t there millions of (better) fishes in the sea, and don’t you deserve at least one of them?

How about this advice? If your relationship is problematic, and you are having second thoughts, look before you leap! Many of those fishes that you could be hankering after could very well be ‘dumped fish’, as appealing as they might appear to eyes and heart!

You could find that as you engage the process of ‘scaling the new fish’, you are forced to ‘dash them wey’ for one reason or another! And down the drain go time, effort and money! If you don’t catch up yourself quickly, you could cascade into a pattern of catching and dumping fish for the rest of your life. Say what? Yes, same suh.

Here’s reasonable advice: take another look at your ‘current fish’. Are you sure there is nothing to salvage? Sure, sure, sure? Sleep on it:

* Pray over it

* Take a second, third and a fourth look.

* Seek advice

* Weigh that decision again

* Take a long look and look again – take all the time you need. Will be glad you did!

That behind you, look at the opportunity cost: how happy are you now? Are you happy 50 per cent of the time? Could your happiness level drop to 49 per cent or 48 per cent ... with your new find? Weren’t thinking about that? I see. Start thinking.

Sweet Girl was married to Sweet Boy, and man, wasn’t the relationship juicy! “Puppa!” As Miss Lou would say. With time, things turn a little sour. Sweet Girl could not give her husband a child. (A nuh God business dat?) Mr Sweet Boy would have none of that. Even though the “horse had gone through the gate”, as they say, he ain’t living with no “mule”. How could he say that? That’s cold.

Against his wife’s wishes, and to the disgust of his friends, relatives and even the counsellor, ‘Old Massa’ pick up himself and went after the greener pasture. And guess what happened? You got it right. Things took a wrong turn; the ‘greener pasture’ was a mirage. The fish he went after took his only hook, line and sinker, and that was that. Having burnt his bridge behind him, he wished it were a dream. No one would have wanted to be in his shoes.

Be warned! Hasty conclusions and quick decisions, in an attempt to avoid an inconvenience, can lead to greater inconveniences! Not saying that you should stick to the evil you know. Just remember that good can always overcome evil. Before making a wrong move, therefore, let’s allow the good in us to overcome the evil in the other. This is applicable to all forms of relationships.

To overcome evil with good the following strategies are proffered:

· Make it a personal duty to treat others with kindness, empathy, and understanding.

· In your spousal relationship, whenever your partner hurts you, resist the urge to retaliate in anger. Choose rather to respond with kindness and forgiveness, bearing in mind that you are not condoning the negative behaviour, but freeing yourself from the anger and bitterness the behaviour causes. Recognise also that you cannot control the other person’s behaviour and that the God of justice will reward both the just and the unjust in His own time. Pray for your partner.

· If you are in school, you too can overcome evil with good by forgiving a fellow student, seeking to resolve conflicts, and apologising quickly for wrongdoings. Be like the smart kids who do that.

· Use a gentle and respectful tone when expressing disagreement

· Always seek to inspire and uplift others

· Foster a sense of community through respect and cooperation.

Promote awareness about the consequences of evil actions.

By working together and promoting good over evil everywhere, we can enjoy good relationships as a world!

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To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or 876 884-3866. Email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.