Learn to converse rather than argue

Hello Mi Neighbour!

Ah boy, what a life eeenh. What happens whenever you try to make a point during a discussion and someone denies you the opportunity because they think your point maybe pointless? If yuh don’t mine sharp, be it a friend, family member or co-worker, such behaviour could cause permanent damage to an important relationship. Unfortunately, many of us have not mastered the art of communicating effectively: managing our words, emotions, time and attitude to the extent where they produce healing and hope rather than injury and despair. Whatever it takes, let’s always aim at building as we interact with our neighbours!

Oftentimes, a simple conversation, if allowed to move in the wrong direction, becomes a heated argument which results in a bitter disagreement, or even a fight thus placing a wedge between good neighbours! Can you identify? Human appetite for the last word during a heated argument is responsible for much of the aggression in our world today. Isn’t that so? We always “miss our stop” during an argument, especially if it is a strong one! Why not then learn to converse rather than argue with one another? Is there a difference? Yes.

Separate and apart from knowing the difference between a conversation and an argument, we also need to know how to prevent a conversation from becoming an argument, especially on the home front! Being able to converse rather that argue can save relationships, marriages, friendships, jobs and even lives, etc. During a heated argument, a husband storms out, a co-worker strikes another, a wife flings back the wedding band to her husband, a man pulls out a knife, and the list goes on. At the peak of anger here, individuals lose control, become dark, irrational, “unconscious” and downright crazy. Sometimes “consciousness” is regained only after an anger-generated crime is committed! “Pray, lest you enter into temptation” mi neighbour.

Below, your neighbour shares his thoughts on the differences between a conversation and an argument in the hope that we’ll have safer and more meaningful interactions. Please pay keen attention, especially if you are in a relationship: in a conversation, the tone tends to be more relaxed and open-minded, while in arguments it is more confrontational.

Conversations aim to exchange ideas, learn, or build relationships, whereas arguments often focus on winning or proving a point.

You know that you are having a conversation whenever both of you are actively listening to understand each other’s perspectives. If you detect that individuals are focusing more on responding or counterattacking, you are clearly overhearing an argument and may need to stand by to part a fight or call the police. And start to pray…

Conversations typically involve respect for differing opinions, while arguments can become heated and disrespectful as they are usually emotionally charged. While conversations often lead to new insights, understanding, or agreements, arguments often result in conflict, hurt feelings, or unresolved issues. And hear this, conversations involve a more collaborative approach, while arguments often become combative. These differences highlight the distinct dynamics and outcomes of conversations versus arguments. An understanding these differences will help you navigate conversations and arguments more productively.

What are some of the ins and outs of a good conversation that always lead to win-win outcomes?

· Clarify what you want to achieve from the conversation.

· Understand the other person’s perspective and give them your full attention without butting in unnecessarily

· Express your thoughts and feelings without blaming or attacking others, focusing on specific issues or behaviours.

· Always maintain a calm tone, avoiding defensiveness and anxiety.

· Accommodating the perspectives and opinions of others and identifying shared interests and goals are also very critical to the process. Over to you.

Wishing you a long and fruitful life, aided and abetted by healthy conversations.

KINDLY HELP A NEIGHBOUR WITH ONE OF THE FOLLOWING

1. Stove

2. Refrigerator

3. Bed

4. Food

5. Help with medication

6. Financial assistance to start a little business

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or deposit in acct #351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to Hello Neighbour C/O 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.